Life

Life has been way busy.
It is amazing how just getting the things done that is pushed upon you from the outside world takes up all you time.
Mrs A time has been taking up with charity boards and her work. It is a busy time for her.
I still get her coffee each morning. We fall in bed late and tired at night.

I do see that the old routine returns to some degree. It is natural that Mrs A is head of our house. She still does that as natural as breathing. The femdom stuff does suffer.

I hope all is well.

Troy

Right after I posted this I received this text;

"It seems so wrong to be so close and so far away."

It is a simple statement. Mrs A outside on the deck. I in my room. I knew I was being summoned.

Then in front of the family, Mrs A said "Dad is on kitchen duty after dinner. You need to get it done before running off."

hmmmm

Punishment

Punishment and Denial are interesting things. Mrs A loves to deny me by denying herself orgasms delivered by me. She sometimes pleases herself in front of me. That is my biggest frustration and makes me struggle emotionally.

She knows that I love to please her. She rarely asks me to do chores. I would say maybe one a week. Typically it is a simple one.  I do them willingly and she knows I find great reward in that. I have taken on most of the cooking recently. The kitchen has become my domain not hers as it use to be. She likes that this has happened. She likes to call when I am work and ask what I like to cook her that evening.

She has whipped me at times. But it is more for her enjoyment than punishment. It is interesting how she chooses her path of ownership and leadership. I love her leading. I love worshiping her. But it is clearly different that the stereotypical things you read in blogs.

That brings me to another interesting thought. I find myself drawn to empowered women. The ones who have learned their feminine strength and use it wisely. The ones that are not hiding weakness or insecurities behind fake strength do not draw my submissive but pulls on my dominate side.  I love the ones who love themselves and know the strength they have inside. Mrs A is that. I know I am someone who can only submit to Mrs A. But I wonder? Am I naturally submissive to women. Would I also submit to another strong woman like Mrs A? I wonder if I would submit to a strong confident alpha male?

The idea of a strong man in our relationship intrigues me, specially a Bi sexual one. Things to think on... hmmmm  I hope all is well with everyone.

Paris and the two drunk lesbians

We went out one night in Paris. Mrs A took me to specific bars that cater to a mix of sexuality. She wanted me to flirt with men and watch me from a distance. She told me I could not tell anyone that we were married. I was free to tease and play with anyone. She put me in a nice pair of yellow panties for the night and it was fun. I felt her eyes on me all night.

I had a Brazilian hit on me all night. Mrs A was watching the whole time. I could see her smiling at times. Her eyes were full of dominate delight. It was fun of me too. I felt desired and he was very bold with me. We danced and had a grand time. We even made to some. He clearly wanted more of me. I was nervous but excited. He then had to go with his friends. He said he would return but never did.

 Mrs A then introduced me to two lesbians at the bar and we visited. They invited us back to their apartment. We enjoyed dancing and listening to music. They were fun to visit with and to hear how they felt about American politics. I missed the Brazilian.

All in all it was fun for us both. Very different then our vanilla nights out. Mrs A was frustrated we did not bing her strap on. There was many nights on this trip so far she wanted to own me. It will come with us next time for sure.

We headed from Paris to Normandy then Belgium. Mrs A mentioned that our last days, which is spent in Amsterdam, She may pick out people to play with me while she watches.

The london cuckold.

We just spent 5 lovely days in London. We are on to Paris now.  Mrs A during this short visit has had aggressive sexy with 2 additional men. We spent a lovely evening out with the one I knew about. Even this one Mrs A said to me she had no plans to "mess around with him." But at the end of our night out I was asked to wait in the bar until she was done. It is a very mental game for me. I had a proper english tea in the middle of the night while I waited.
Mrs A had me up before he had left, to let me know my position. She had me say good bye and tell him that we had a lovely night with him. He even said: "Wow, you should see what you allowed me to do to your wife." it was in jest but non the less it left me very submissive. I felt emotionally fragile but was so happy Mrs A had a good time. It is all for her.
Mrs A teased me the next morning in bed as she gave me the details of her tryst.

The suddenness of being told and her leaving for her new rendezvous took me by surprise. She had warned me, in a way, about the first. But the second was dropped on me in seconds. She left me alone in the hotel room and went to see this other man. She does not even talk of him or what they did at all to me.
Two so close to each other has been hard on my head. Specially when we are far from home on a trip together to celebrate our wedding anniversary and Mrs A birthday,  But once again she is in charge and it is "all for her."

Summer time

We have been super busy the last few weeks. Trips, kids and work give us little time for ourselves. Mrs A is busy with some of her work items. I received instructions off and on telling me to wear pretty panties off and on. Mrs A is keeping up on her orgasms. She has put me to work often. Mine have been regular too, lucky me.

Yesterday, We had attended a bbq.  Mrs A informed me this morning I had acted out too much.  I was around many of the men I play hockey with. She said "All of you were showing how big your cocks were to each other." "The problems for you my dear is that it is my cock. I think if you want to act out like that it is time for you to cage my cock for a while."

I now sit here in my cage. Mrs A has flirted, rubbed, teased and toyed with me all day. She has made me tell her who's cock it is and that I need permission to be showing of her cock.

Happy 4th everyone.

Financial domination

Mrs A two days ago took my wallet away from me. She handed me some cash and said when you have spent that come to me and we will talk. I was somewhat dumbfounded. It happened before bed. We had friends over and I had drank some. So I just went to sleep.

The next day I felt horrible inside. I felt like I had done something major wrong. I wondered if Mrs A thinks I was a burden or problem in our life related to our finances. I was never given an answer to what I was supposed to learn or what I had done wrong.

I felt sad inside. I withdrew into my own head. Mrs A seemed irked at me for that. I was irked at her for what had happened.

We have talked and I still do not have my wallet. There are things she hopes I see and understand while I am put on an allowance. It has been hard for me. Mrs A left my wallet by my sink wrapped in a copy of our contract. It was her passive way of controlling me. I really wanted to keep it but I did not I gave it to her and am gonna try to let this go and learn what I need to learn.

Edged into goonville.

My last orgasm came on Thursday last week. Mrs A has been edging me every day since then. Last night was a slow tease over about an hour. I was leaking pre cum everywhere. She kept feeding it to me.

She told me over and over I would not be cumming. She has had me in my cock cage during this time. She is pretty clear that I cannot be trusted. I sit here at work, caged and feeling full. She took the key and is on a memorial day hike with some ladies. 

She made it clear I was not going to come tonight either. Mrs A has so far had about 20 orgasms since Thursday. I have help with all of them I think. It is amazing how easy it is to be denied when I can feel the pleasure and release she is experiencing. It is an amazing thing.
It does affect my mind. I see how these goon parody has some truth to it.

Caged, panties on and in my thigh high stockings!

I came home from work last night. I had enjoyed a day of working in panties. Mrs A said to me as I walked into our room, take your clothes off and come join me in bed. So, I did. She then asked if I had done what she asked of me. I was to do or buy something under 10 dollars that shows her I was thinking of her all day. I said yes as I retrieved my items. I bought cheap wild colored nail polish. It was something out of our normal routine and I wanted to mix it up.

She laughed and love it. We shared stuff of our day as we cuddled, me in her lap. After a while she painted my nails on my left hand and asked me to put on a teddy and lip stick. As I returned to bed she said. "You can only please me with your pretty hand tonight."
"OK" I said
"I want you to stand here so I can admire your outfit."She ordered.
I complied.

We then cuddled some more,  I was getting deeper in to a submissive state. My nightie was silky and was arousing to my skin. Mrs A noticed and teased me a little. She edged me by wrapping the nightie around my cock and stroke me then alternated with oral at times. She did this slowly and over a while. Never letting me get close to an orgasm.

"I want you to get on all fours and face the foot of the bed." She ordered.

Mrs A then started fingering and massaging my prostate. She would touch my cock off and on but focused more on the prostate. It was pushing me to another orgasm. It is such a different sensation, it was having the effect she wanted. Soon I could tell this was a different type of edging. No orgasm was coming.

She said to me as she trusted into me. "You will not have an orgasm tonight." I want you caged and in panties tomorrow." "I want you to ache for me all day tomorrow."
She then ended by saying. "Maybe at 930pm tomorrow you can have an orgasm."

She stopped touching me then. It felt awful to lose physical contact with her. I was so deep in submission.  She had me lay in her lap and caressed me. That felt nice. It was hard to calm myself.  I was worked up and was finding it hard to focus on anything but wanting her, tasting her, pleasing her.

As I laid there I started to rub her clit over panties. She immediately noticed it was with the wrong hand. I was using the non pretty hand. She grabbed me and pulled me away. She was looking at me with that look that I have come to know as I am in BIG trouble.  I had failed her.
"Bend over my lap." She uttered.
I was shaking but did as I was told. She then started to lecture me as she pulled my scrotum and cock away from my body. She commenced to start spanking my balls over and over. Telling me what a bad boy I was, with every hit.  She had  me to repeat the rule to her as she kept spanking. I felt like crying because I had failed her. The spankings hurt but were arousing me. The emotional roller coaster was crazy.

I was instructed to lay on my side of the bed. I went from scrotal spanking to no touch what so ever. The lack of touch hurt worse. I was struggling with my feelings. I wanted a hug. I wanted to cry. I wanted to please her. I wanted to obey. Mrs A had gotten up and went to getting ready for bed and close the house down. After a while I got up and got ready for the next day.

 As she came to bed I struggled on what to do. I laid still. Mrs A's dominant side came through. She grabbed my head and wrapped her legs around it and allowed me to orally pleasure her until her needs were sated. She grabbed my head and pulled, pushed, grind on my face over and over as she came a few times. She throw me away then drag me back for more. Then all of sudden I hear.
"I want you to go to sleep now."

SO the night ended well for us both. I am denied, caged, panties on and in stockings at work. Mrs A is relaxing and enjoying her after glow of her orgasmic night.

Are you wearing something beautiful today?

Mrs A today asked me if I was wearing something beautiful. I was getting ready for the day and was debating if I wanted normal Joe underwear or a soft lace lined panty. Toying with it in my mind is fun.
I usually, if one my own don't pick the panties. I want to mainly because it makes me feel sensual and I like how it feels on me. It makes me feel feminine. Mrs A asking me before I left gave me permission. I hope she enjoys thinking of me in them. I love it when she enforces, encourages, or craves me being submissive. It is an interesting thing to see the ebb and flow of that.
So, today I am in a nice purple cotton panty with laced edges it rides on my ass nicely. It makes me think of strong hand using my body for his pleasure.

The Domme's View

From Mrs A:

My deviant little submissive loves to share his thoughts about our pretty little world. I thought I would share mine.

I don't know if I have always been dominant or simply grown more so throughout the years we have been together. I've always been a highly sexual and sensual woman with strong physical needs. He has always been more cuddly and affectionate; he always seeks me out to be held, touched, or talked to.  I've always been more sexually driven, craving more powerful interchanges. While we have always had a highly active sex life, he usually initiated touch and I usually initiated sex. Truly, it is our favorite way to tell each other that we love each other. Often, words just don't suffice or are too hard to wrestle with. Touch works far better for us both.

Over the past year or so, we have gradually explored far deeper into the dominant/submissive world. In many ways, it has been a natural fit for me. It gives me an outlet for the control I enjoy and often deeply crave.

I have found many pleasures that I never suspected. For example, when he first wore panties, I was stunned to find myself intensely aroused at the sight. I loved how he moved in them. Everything changed in him. He was intensely self aware. He touched himself differently, moved differently, looked at me differently. It was like finding another lover tucked behind his usual and lovely face.

[He is currently very nervous that I am writing. That pleases me. :)]

This has also given me lots of strange questions to answer. It often pushes on my own gender identity in ways that have been quite difficult for me. There are some aspects of femininity that seem to slip off me in ways that are disturbing to me. I am perplexed by what is a role and what is my nature.  It is a strange place to wonder if he wishes for me or for my power over him or if there is any separation between the two. Sometimes, it seems very stark and other times, it seems like there is no boundaries between them. I don't know if that will make sense to anyone but me, since it often doesn't make sense even to me. :)

Altogether, it has been a wild journey thus far, and I'm deeply curious to see where it goes next.

Last night

Last night Mrs A went out to celebrate finishing a major project at work. She rarely drinks but felt like letting loose. I was at work then played hockey. She had me in some very pretty purple laced panties. I loved wearing them all day for her.

Mrs A texted during my game to tell me she would need a DD. I finished my game and went to pick her up at a local Irish Pub. We sat and visited with some friends and had a good time. I then politely took my Mistress home and helped her get ready for bed. After she was tucked in I showered and put my panties back on and headed to bed.

I heard her speak out softly, " I need you to show me how pretty you are in your panties."
I felt a flush of heat to my face. I turned the lights on and slowly moved around so she could see me. She had me come close so she could caress me. She did not say a word. After she was done she said "thank you." then turned and went to sleep. I on the other hand was a little worked up. I did my best to crawl in next to her and fall asleep. It did not come easy.

Here I am in my panties.

Boring

Life has been just an average vanilla thing around here recently. Mrs A has had her plate full with work and I have also. The end of the school year makes for a busy time too. Kids dance recitals, track and such.
Currently Mrs A has been making me fuck her very hard She likes to be on the bottom. She makes me hold her legs apart and then she grabs my collar and pulls me down to her face and looks me in the eye and tells me to fuck her. She eggs me on and tells me to do it better. She never lets go of the collar. She then allows me to cum. I have been spoiled.
We have big plans coming up over the next few months. We will be traveling to Boston then off to a little lake resort in the back mountains of Idaho then off to Europe for a month. I wonder what submissive trouble I will be allowed to get into.

Interesting proposal with a happy ending for all!

I recently ran into a lady friend who has expressed interest in playing with me sexually.  Mrs A has allowed me to flirt with her. She has been fun and we have not talk about my submissive side. We have been flirting in a very vanilla way. It has been fun. She finally asked to have a "date".

She wanted to cook dinner and have me over for a Friday night date. Mrs A gave me permission. I said yes and planned to meet her. I had many mixed emotions. I had many feeling of arousal and excitement. But at the same time the pressure to please another women worried me. Mrs A even had to coach me a little.

I went over to her house and we visited in the back yard on some lawn chairs. We then had a nice dinner in the living room. We started to make out a little. She was not wanting to go to far but as we made out she made the move. "Lets go to my room."

I was very comfortable and relaxed. She was too. I provided oral pleasure for a while then she went wild. Once again, I had another dominant women, she started instructing me to not come. She wanted certain things done before I came. She wanted to ride on top. She wanted me on top. She then wanted it from behind. Once she had enough she started to tease me to come. "come deep inside me" I of course obliged. We cuddled and talked for a while. Just our naked skin on skin. It was a wonderful night. It had to end because she had a friend staying over so I politely removed myself.

Mrs A had me immediately tell her the details. During this time she liked to tease me. She then told me to fuck her. "You big man you, having your cock in two women in a day." She then tease me by saying. "fuck me like a real man." "show me how you pleased her" It was messing with my sub Brain and I loved her for it.  It was a wonderful night.

Caged and Pegged.

Yesterday I got up to go to work. Part of my routine is to make Mrs A coffee before I leave. I was placing her coffee on her bed stand assuming she was asleep when she said:
"good morning baby"
"good morning love" I responded.

She sat up and drank her coffee. We visited a little and then she got out of bed and ran the water for a shower. I was laying on the bed watching her. She looked at me and smiled. Mrs A walked over and took my hand and placed it in her panties. I am well trained to know what that means. I worked her slowly and softly until she came. She then placed my fingers in my mouth. She could see my erection clearly as it throbbed and ached for her. She turned and walked towards the shower. As she did she said:
"I think you cannot be trusted so it is a cage day." "oh, and wear something pretty for me."

I did as I was commanded. The picture below is of me in my panties at work. I was asked to send 5 pictures of them to her through out the day. This was the last one I sent before I was done at work.


I returned home to find a family dinner waiting. After, Mrs A and I retired to the bedroom. I am required to be naked or in a pretty outfit in private so I was in my panties caged. I was laying on the bed as Mrs A stroked my back. She slowly teased me and we started to kiss.

Mrs A stopped, got up and locked the door. She turned on the music and slowly undressed for me. She liked to stop and rub her cock in its cage. It was aching and swollen. She would laugh and smile seeing in discomfort from my arousal.

Mrs A then opened up our play drawer and stepped into her strap on. She then had me stroke her cock as she kissed me and teased her caged cock. She then had me get into position and she started fucking me to the  rhythm of the music. It was rather aggressive. I could tell when she got the angle just right to stimulate herself too. She loves coming from fucking me this way.

She took a while and I was leaking so badly from my caged cock. She had me turn over after she was done. Laying on top of me she kissed and teased me more. Mrs A would talk about how beautiful I was. How I was a good little bitch and how well I took her cock.

She then took her key out and removed her cock from its cage. I was leaking precum none stop. She laugh and rubbed it and I was immediately hard again. She then climbed on top and was grinding herself on her cock. She kept eye contact and said I want you to come for me when I tell you. I was having a hard time not coming then. She then pinched my nipples and bit my neck. She would hold very still with me deep inside her.  She then leaned down, crushing her breast into my chest, not moving and bit my ear lobe as she whispered "come now". I exploded inside her. She could feel it and cooed at me about how good of a boy I was and that I made her happy.

We ended the night in each others arms. We both sated and content.

Spring Break

So the house was over ran by college kids. The last 2 weeks have been hectic. So kinky has not happened much. We are playing the conservative parents role.

We did spend a few days at a Music festival that went on for 5 days. It was pleasant. There was about 20 different venues that were offering a variety of music and talks among other things. We all just picked what we would enjoy and went. Mrs A made it clear I had a "pass" to indulge in some kinky play if I found someone I liked. What she meant was: I could find a hot stud and suck his cocker more. She would want pictures if possible. I did not find someone. But I do wonder how excited Mrs A would have been. She rather be there to watch live but we have ran into cases when I was meant to service a hot cock and Mrs A just could not stand it and took over. I then turn into the "waterboy". Not anything kinky. It just means I run for food and water as they exhaust themselves. Mrs A has tried to tone that down. She really does enjoy watching to a point. But like all Dommes they just take charge.

Now that spring breaks are over. The kids have gone. We will have to see how Mrs A tries to indulge her dominance.

ruined orgasm

March madness is upon us. I have been super busy with college kids in town for spring break. I have had to work and Mrs A has been busy with her career also. It has been a low key week with a lot of family time. It is great to have our adult children back but it does cramp they home front fun.

Last night Mrs A and I had snuggled and was drifting off to sleep when Mrs A decided to show her domination. I was naked, as I am required to be, and was trying to sleep when I felt her start to fondle and finger my ass. I immediately became hard and responded to her touch. She then reached under me and told me to fuck her hand. SO there I was collard, naked and was fucking Mrs A hand as she cooed to me what a nice boy I was. She allowed me to come in her hand and then she rubbed it over my lips and face. Then told me to thank her for being a good  mistress. That she gave me this "gift."

I did and then we both fell asleep. So submission and domination still is not lost with the kids at home.

Formal Collaring event! Done her way.

Yesterday I was instructed to be prepared to discuss our contract over dinner. Then, to my surprise, I was asked to come upstairs around 2 pm. I was busy making Bread for the family. Mrs A was in the room dressed in a leather and high heels. She loves wearing heels that make her taller than me. She loves the power of looking down on me.

She made me strip in front of her. She then teased me until I was erect. Mrs A then sat in the corner of the room and made me turn slowly, bend over, kneel etc etc. She verbally talked about my body as if it was something she wanted to purchase and own. She talked about what she would use it for.

Mrs A started to pull her panties off while still in her dress. She backed me into the wall and then lifted her leg up around my waist. She then took my cock and slide it into her. She then fucked me like a man. Staring me in the eyes and at times biting me and choking me. She told me she planned to see how well her new cock and her new ass would please her. Mrs A wanted to fuck me after my orgasm since it was about her pleasure when taking my ass.

I came rather quickly but was able to last long enough for her to come. She made me put on a pretty pair of panties with a bow on them, then placed me on the bed with my ass up in the air. Mrs A then put her harness and feeldoe on and did not even try to warm me up.

Mrs A then fucked me for a while on the bed then had my straddle her in a chair and fucked me until she came from the friction. Calling me a good boy and how pretty I was all the time.

After that she made me kneel in front of her naked and well used. She placed the contract in front of me and asked each line item if I would commit. Yes, Mistress is what I answered every time. She then took a pen and we both signed. She then placed the contract in a folder and pulled out a little jewelry box. She opened it and pulled out a collar. She turned to me and placed it on me.

I then was instructed to cook dinner and clean the house. I was also told to figure out an answer to people who ask about my collar. Since I would be wearing it all the time. The collar has a 3 number combo lock on it that only Mrs A knows. Here is a picture of it on this morning.

The picture is of the lock that is usually worn on the back.

The Cage/contract story

So two days in the cock cage "Queen's Keep" has been pleasantly comfortable. It is still a tad small but I wonder if it will end up being just right if I am in it for a longer term. During this time we have had ongoing talks of this contract.

Mrs A wants to collar me and have me sign a working agreement. I am planning to place a copy of it on here for you to read. It is written, like all things done by Mrs A, eloquent and perfect. She has covered most topics but done it in a general encompassing way.  I have not signed it yet but I awoke today with a copy laying in bed next to me. I do not really like being around her family. They are deeply religious.

HERE IT IS:

This contract is a secure and binding agreement that specifies the relationship and interaction between A (mistress) and T (submissive.) This agreement is entered into voluntarily and at the pleasure of both parties.

Both parties acknowledge that their marriage is at the center of their existence. They love each other madly and always fucking will. They also acknowledge that the submissive has a deep need for female control, and the mistress is pleased by controlling him. This contract only serves as a concrete artifact of what their bodies express already.

Section 1: The Mistress’s Responsibilities

• The mistress will love, care for, protect, and cherish her submissive.
• The mistress will dedicate significant time, effort, and creativity to her submissive.
• She will assume control of her submissive’s body and any other area of his life that she deems worthy of her control.
• She will communicate her demands clearly and provide the consequences for meeting or failing to meet her demands.
• She will control him as she sees fit, offering whatever incentive or punishment she deems essential.  
• She will seek out her own pleasure as she sees fit. She will inform her submissive of any physical play with others and give him the opportunity to voice his concerns.

Section 2: The Submissive’s Role

• The submissive agrees to submit completely to his mistress in all ways that she requires. Because she is a (relatively) sane human being who will never cause lasting harm or get him arrested, there are no boundaries of place, time, or situation in which the submissive may willfully refuse to obey his mistress’s wishes.
• If her submissive is confused about any command, he is expected to seek clarification.
• The submissive is expected to make his own desires clear and to accept his mistress’s decisions/timing graciously. She will make every attempt to communicate this effectively and lovingly.
• The submissive knows that his body belongs to his mistress, and he will treat it kindly, lovingly, and erotically.
• He will be undressed or erotically dressed in private.
• He is required to be sexually available to her at her whim, in any way, at any time, and under any conditions that she wishes.
• The submissive will actively look and act upon for ways to please his mistress. If those ways involve more than $100, he will discuss it with her first.
• The submissive is required to report on his actions and infractions, whether or not the mistress initiates that conversation. The submissive will keep an active list on his phone that reminds him of the specific tasks he is to fulfill and when he is supposed to fulfill them.
• The submissive will make a formal report of his behavior each Sunday night. His mistress will decide what benefits and punishments he will gain from his behavior.
• The submissive will give and receive no orgasms during their sexual play or on his own without his mistress’s express permission.
• The submissive will maintain the sex toys and will bring new ideas to his mistress as he finds them.
• The submissive accepts that he will often be bored and frustrated. While he may make requests of his mistress, he is ultimately responsible to entertain himself in a non-sexual fashion.
• The submissive is required to tell his mistress if her actions cause him displeasure of any sort. This does not automatically require her to change her actions, but she will listen to his reasoning before making any further decisions.
• The submissive has permission to seek out erotic outlets as he wishes, as long as he asks his mistress for express permission at the first significant arousal.
• If the submissive is around the mistress’s family, he will be sober, loving, and attentive in every way.

Section 3: Renewal and Renegotiation:

This contract will be formally renegotiated and renewed each year on our wedding anniversary. At any time, either party may initiate a conversation to void or renegotiate this contract.

_______________________ ________________________

Mistress’s Signature Submissive’s Signature

New Cock cage and contract items.

We are having ongoing talks about this contract. I have put together a theme of topics to talk about.
We both clearly see this more as a reflection of our current level of female led life. There is a lot of on line contracts that seem about being a slave or even hatred indirectly towards men. The idea at a single man should atone for what all men have done to women is crazy.

Some women are better situated and have the right temperament to lead. Some do not. I also find my submission is to someone who has more or less deserved and earned it. I do not see me to submissive towards others. Unless Mrs A requires it. haha

Here is a few topics. We plan to cover.
Affirmations

Terms,length

behavior wanted or unwanted

dress, feminization

ritual, traditions

personal service

chastity, orgasm control

rewards, punishment

rules

privileges, rewards

handing conflicts

sexual interactions

family decisions, direction

financial 

household duties 

Submissive responsibilities

Dominant responsibilities

I personally am excited to see which one seems to bring Mrs A alive. She seems to want the same things. 

Also, I received my Queens Keep cock cage in the mail yesterday from Mature Metal. 

Mrs A spent no time placing me in it. We went with the screw key also. So I have been screwed into my cock cage literally. 

Queen's Keep

Me! 

Collared

Mrs A informed me today that she wants me to work on the outline of a contract between her and I. She would like to collar me and have us agree and sign a contract at the end of the week.

I have mixed feelings on this topic. Mrs A and I have been in a domme/submissive relationship are whole marriage. We just never really used those terms. She has always been in control and she has given up control as she wants of certain things.

The last 2 years I have explored more formally this female led relationship. It has spoken to my brain on a deep level. I do not think it has for Mrs A. Mrs A has always felt in charge so it was do big deal for her. What she hated was us using word to define things. She did not like owning her leadership role. She truly enjoyed the knowledge of being charge without being accountable of that. Now that we talk about these roles and responsibilities she gets concerned. She worries I may resent her in the long run.

Either way it is going to be interesting to see how it turns out. I worry she is not invested enough, she worries I will resent her for her leadership. We will see.

Caged submissive part 3

Mrs A started the day with her submissive in a nice pair of pink panties, caged and a dark grey nightie. It had a big bow on the front that Mrs A loved.

She then had me stand against the wall for a while. She would leave and come back and I was to stay in that place. She would return to caress and put lotion on her submissive.

She then place a jeweled steel butt plug inside me. I was then told to stand there for a while longer. I did as I was told. I could hear Mrs A helping the family morning ritual as the kids went off to school.
I did not move. Dressed so pretty.

Mrs A returned to the room after the kids had left the house. She shut and locked the door. "I like it when I know you can be as loud as you want." " I love hearing your moans as I take you."
Mrs A placed me on the bed and then had me help her put her strap on harness on. We have the sasha harness.

She placed her feeldoe in and then she grabbed my legs and spread them wide. She took me face to face. You could tell she had a goal in  mind. She did not warm me up at all she lubed and started fucking me. I could tell  she wanted me summing in my cage for her. 

Mrs A keep it up. Fucking me then making me ride her cock. She would tell me how pretty I was and that I was her good boi. She then put my legs over my head and fucked me hard and then soft. She would make out with me and others bit my lips, neck, chest. She kept it up until I was leaking pre-cum a lot. 

At the time she keep a constant ryhtmn telling she wanted her good gurl to come. Come on my cock. It slowly built up from somewhere deep. It was not in my control. I felt it travel the length of my cock and the slowly pump out all over my nightie. It kept coming not some big orgasm. But it lasted for a while slowly leaking out with each thrust from Mrs A. 

You can tell she was happy to see this end result. It made Mrs A so happy. She talked of how this is was something she wanted more of. Me too. 

She told me to clean up and come climb into bed next to her. She wanted to be held now that Her little bitch boi got his orgasm. While we were cuddling she asked me to pick a collar out of the ones she wanted to order. 

Caged submissive part 2

Two days of cage wearing while teased was having its submissive affects on me. Mrs A came home on day two and teased me as we finished the night with family dinner. She grab my cock cage when no one was looking. We went to bed early since I was planning to leave at 11 pm for a hockey game.

Mrs A sent me from our bed to get her a serving of Scotch Whiskey. She takes it neat.

  When I returned to my room she was laying in bed naked. I handed her Whisky to her. She enjoys it very much. I was then informed to lay between her legs. I was to face away from her.

Mrs A made me undress first. She enjoyed toying with my cock cage with her feet as we laid there watching Johnny Depp playing a really good Pirate. He is the captain of the Black Pearl.

Mrs A slowly would grind herself into the back of my head. Her feet teasing my cage. She then whispered "turn over."

I was then allowed to orally bring her to orgasm. She wanted it slow. She grab my head and hold still as she rub herself over my tongue and face. After she achieved her first orgasm she informed me to turn over again. We then would return to her feet on my cage and movie watching. I was aching and leaking pre cum all over the place.

Mrs A then would whisper to turn over and allow me to bring her to two more orgasms orally. It was heaven. She loved telling me how pretty I had been in my panties. That she loved her cock caged. There was really no use for it since I was doing so well with my mouth. She reminded me over and over that she loves to control when it would be used, how it would be used, on who it would be used.  Then this episode ended with the simple whisper "turn over"

It was getting towards the end of the movie. Captain Jack Sparrow was in an epic sword battle. We laid there with my cock straining so hard in the cage. A river of pre cum falling over Mrs A feet. She loved the tension building in me. She for the finally time told me to Turn over. I immediately went to orally please her again, but she stopped me.

She told me she want my hands. I started to penetrate her with two fingers. She pulled my face close to her and we made out as I accelerated and gave her a nice penetrative orgasm with my hand. She loved looking in my eyes as she came. She then grabbed my hand and shoved my fingers into my mouth. Mrs A made out with me while my fingers where still in my mouth.

Mrs A then laid back very sated. She told me then I was not allowed to orgasm. That my cage will stay on. She would remove it for the Hockey game but then it was placed back on. I was trembling from the denial going on to me and the happiness of serving my mistress.

So I laid back. Mrs A denied my touching her after that. She would touch me when she wanted. She finished her Whisky and I went to play. Still denied.

I received a text from her before the game. She informed me that tomorrow the only cock that will be used is her strap on. My cock would remain caged going on day three. It took me a while to get into the game as my mind raced.

Caged submissive

Yesterday, Mrs A and I spent it together. The day started with Mrs A getting out of the shower. She then moved herself to our bed and handed my a body cream she enjoys. She said "Do you want to apply this to my body before another man massages me." " I have a massage in an hour."

She knows how to play with my submissive brain. I was getting aroused and loved every moment. I was so exhilarated with every touch of her body. The simple application of cream to her body was making me erect and leaking. She slowly moved to allow me to apply it everywhere. She would place her body in provocative positions to tease me. I could not help but try and pleasure her. She would stop me saying I needed to finish the job first.

Slowly as I finished applying the body cream all over she allowed me to orally pleasure her to three orgasms. I loved how she would grab my head and push me into her. She grind and lift her hips has her pleasure came again and again. It was so fulfilling to me and her. Mrs A stopped me and took a moment then told me to us my hand and fingers to bring her to two more orgasms. I was so horny and aroused but so fulfilled. Seeing her pleasure and glow after that was so rewarding.

As it came to an end we cuddled together. She started to edge me a little. Mrs A said "Today is a cage day. I cannot trust you after this morning" She put me into my CB 6000. She then applied the lock and took the key and headed to her massage appointment.

The day was full of lunch appointments and dinner dates for both of us. She loved massaging my cock in its cage under tables and car rides all day. We finally ended up back in bed that evening.
Mrs A took her key unlocked my caged and started to masterbate me. She keep coming with me to cum. She did not stop as I came all over my chest. Mrs A keep jerking me and I tried so hard to take it. I was about to pull away when she stopped.

Mrs A slowly smiled and kissed me. She said I was a good boy today but I did not wear cute enough panties for her. I was in my normal mens underwear. I obviously missed the the point on that. Mrs A then scoped all the cum she could and fed it to me slowly. "Good Boy" was all she said. Mrs A then turned and went to sleep and I cuddled up behind her as she did.

This morning I returned from my work out with a a text on my phone. "I want you caged and in something pretty today." I found my lock attached to my tooth brush. So her I sit waiting for her caged and pretty. I hope her work day goes fast!!

Valentine's Day is for what!

My Valentine's Day was somewhat of a let down. I still have the hardest time not getting in trouble with Mrs A around certain groups. One of those groups is Mrs A family.

Mrs A had family in town and I was to go to dinner with them Saturday and not cause any contention. Mrs A family is deeply religious. We are not. I sometimes have a problem with expressing my distain for that. I did real well except for one small event. I used a "swear" word.

Then the next morning over breakfast I appeared to make to may jokes related to this same topic. Mrs A was upset at me. So once they had left I was left with a very uneventful Valentine's Day. I gave Mrs A her gifts which she loved. I did not get any gift.

Mrs A spent the day working. I did some house work and then kept to myself. We did make up a little later in the evening which was wonderful. The agenda for Valentine's per our past week conversation was a long day in bed. I was so excited for this. Well, Mrs A either felt that needed to be different because I my actions or she just plain forgot.

So now I am back at work. I feel restless and concerned. My submissive mind hates ambiguity from Mrs A. I try and not let it affect me. I really wished I had a nice pari of panties on. It would help.

I sure hope everyone else holiday was much better than mine!

Panty weekend.

Today Mrs A caught me leaving for work. She asked me what panties I was planning to wear.
I had mentioned that I had not planned too. She immediately ordered me upstair to find a nice blue pair.

She told me how she loves kissing me as she chokes me. She specially loves it when I am forced to rub my cock on her thigh at the same time. "It is such a rush for me, Baby" As she puts it.

So I wore my silk blue panties. Mrs A sent text all day teasing me.

"When you can, stroke your cock through your panties and think of me."

"I love how your panties look on you. Your ass was made for them."

She took me to a local gay bar to watch a Diva show. She loves that. She also likes it after the show is done and it is open dancing. Mrs A enjoys watching men hit on me. She also wants me to show what men I am attracted to. I try my best.

I think she does this to even help me understand my feelings. I am way attracted to the idea of being dominated by a man. To please him. But it is hard to relate that to physical attributes.

Needless to say this was how our Super Bowl weekend went. I am glad Peyton can ride off into the sunset. He better.

"You may choose if he does"

So, yesterday  I receive a text from Mrs A while at work.

My "car guy" wants to come visit me today. You may choose if he does.

Busy at work and mind on business stuff I was snapped back into my cuckold self. I looked at it and first laughed. Then smiled and then was curious of my options in response. I must admit I toyed with many answers. I did take a little time.
But:

1. Mrs A never involves me in the times she tells her male lovers no. I assume it is a lot. I have seen her and in passive conversation she talks of not feeling up to that today.

2. She is asking me to obviously put it in front of me. Is she helping me clear up my feelings and desire related to her playing with another man. Does she sense mixed emotions?

She obviously wants to see him. Her dominant nature just says no if not in the mood.

 I simply said it was totally cool with me if she wanted him to "visit".

The day was long at work. She do not text me after getting my input. There was no post visit text I am use to. Submissive me sent out opened ended text about her day and mine.
Not once did she mention his visit. I finally had to ask how she juggled her day with all her commitments. She then sent a text that he had dropped by and it all worked out related to her other commitments. She mention it being short and sweet. That he was more lonely than wanting to play.
That was all I got.

I arrived home she was in bed. It was late. We snuggled and then she went to sleep. I tossed all night with all the things in my head. It was a struggle. She knows how I like to hear details. I was not getting any of them.

Then this morning as I was dressing to go see my trainer. She came into the closet and said she needed an orgasm. I was in heaven, as I gave her two. She held me from behind as I fingered her. Then she turned me around and hugged me hard as I fingered her to another.

Shen then dragged me to bed and demanded I fuck her hard. SO, I did. Afterwards she said thank you and that she had needed that. I know I orgasmed but was so focused on her it was not as pleasurable as some have been.

Now, I am at work and she send this.

Your task for today: I will come home creatively and physically exhausted. I am going to need an orgasm desperately and I may not be able to chase one. You need to figure out how to get me to a place where I want and get one.

Hmmm, The trials I must bear. I do worry that I may fail, it does have a sense of  a challenge in it.

Pretty

I would love to know what Mrs A or any other mistress would think of these today!

What a world it use to be! 

Broken heart syndrome.

The last two weeks have been emotionally intense for me. Mrs A and I have been finding our natural ebb and flow with me being more submissive. We have always been liberal in our view of sex and relationships but it has been an interesting transition.

Mrs A has had a steady lover recently. They really do not play much. She flirts with a few men, most will be people she plans to never meets in person. She also had a one night play date this week with a dominant male. That was portrayed in the last 2 post.

I have struggled with my submissive feelings. I told Mrs A that I worry over these feelings. Am I just owning who I truly am and am struggling against what it means to be truly submissive or am I actually changing who I am and am setting something down in trade off for something else.
She seems to think it is a little of both. Here is her text to me about this thought.

Mrs A: "That is what maturing is, I think. You realize more of who you are and you make your actions reflect that more than just want some vague concept of what society demands.


I wonder what I am letting go? Can I get it back? Do I care?
What changes will this make to Mrs A and I relationship?

I do know we are walking this road together. Mrs A has enjoyed and is very comfortable with all of it so far. At least it appears that way. I think I am driven to explore blogs and see how everyone adapts with similar feelings in their relationships. Many stories or shared feelings resonate to me. Many don't.

Mrs A does not seem to read these bogs. If she does she keeps it from me. I also worry she will interpret other dominants feelings as the ones she would need to have. I know there are dominants I would not be a good sub for.. haha or I think that!

But these recent submissive feelings of love and need to serve Mrs A has made me finally understand why men in long term relationships appear to have a 30% increase risk of dying in the 6 months after the lost of their spouse compared to men who have not lost their spouse. Where women on average to not have the same risk. I think that speaks to their independent dominant nature that women have innately. What draws me to Mrs A is clearly innate in her.

How the cuckold event went down.

Mrs A was waiting for me when I got home. She had laid out on the bed my purple nightie. It is her favorite on me. I was also in purple panties and in my cock cage.

As I walked in Mrs A met me at the door. I could see that she was almost done getting ready for her date. I felt a little let down. I was looking forward to helping her get ready. It was clear Mrs A was excited to see her date and was planning for our time to be brief. She wanted the main event. Another mans cock. 

She was very nervous. It was cute to see. It made me excited for her. She did take the time to actually undress me. She caressed me and talked about how pretty I was. She reminded me how good of a boy I had been to be caged and in my pretty outfit. All while putting me in my nightie. She was teasing me about how it was so sad that we could not share her dates cock together. "I know how you would love that."  She was right.. haha

She then slowly pulled down her pants and asked if her date will like the panties.  She said they were her favorite ones I had recently bought. She placed me on my knees in front of her so I could get a better look. "I think he will love them my dear. They are amazing." I said.

Mrs A then pulled my face into her panties and told me to breath her in. It was wonderful. "Do you think he will like fucking my pussy?" Yes, My dear! Came my muddled reply.

Mrs A then pulled her panties down to allow me to use my tongue on her until she came. "Good Boy!"She kept saying.

It was the most wonderful feeling. Me kneeling while Mrs A orgasmed all over my mouth and face. 

After she came it was clear my time was done. She stood me up and made it clear my instructions for the night. One was that I needed to keep my panties and cage on until her return. I was to look at feminine things online and search for a better cock cage. She was expecting to be late. If I went to sleep I was to remain caged. It was important to her that while she takes her lover that I am locked up. 

She left around 8PM and did not return until 1230AM. She looked stunning. She had a glow about her that told me she loved her time. She was spent and ready for bed. She told me how much fun it was. She did not talk much detail but did remove my cage and stroked me, talking about how well I did for her. She allowed me to come. Then she promptly laid down and said we are going to sleep.

I was so wired and happy but unfilled by lacking all the details I could not sleep a wink. I tossed and turned all night.

I finally got up around 430 and went down stairs and cleaned the kitchen. I got ready to work out and prepared Mrs A coffee. She likes it to be at her bed side when she awakens. As I was placing it by her side of the bed she called for me.

She had me undress and cancel my training. I laid beside her. Holding me she FINALLY told me how it went.

She explain he was about 6'2 and 250 carried his weight well. She went straight to his room at 8.
They chatted and kissed then he slowly undressed her. He would not let her help. He took immediate control. She loved having a dominant male lover. He stayed dressed for a while admiring her and kissing her all over.

He then undressed and was immediately erect. He loved to fuck as she said it. He held her down, puller her hair, choked her it was rough. She was loving it. He made sure she felt safe and no boundaries were pushed. They played for 4 straight hours. He fucked her the whole time except when he had her give him oral. He came in her mouth. The rest of the time was safe sex. They would spend times chatting between playing. He kept constant contact with her body. He loved to cuddle and caress her.

She was sore afterwards. It has been a long time since she had that kind of play for so long. It was exactly what she wanted. She saw I was erect from her story so she allowed me to rub on her inner thighs until I came. After that she grabbed my cock and rubbed the head of it on her clit. It was so sensitive and drove me crazy. But she did this until she came.

After that I was kicked out of bed and sent to work!

Surprise cuckold day!

So last night I came home from my hockey game happy. I was able to play well and achieved all that Mrs A wanted from me. So I was going to be allowed to pleasure her with my tongue tonight as we talked of the game.

I walked into the room and she made me give a report on her day requirements of me. ( I will go over those another day) and also the list and game instructions she gave me.

Mrs A then reported that she wanted my cock first. She spanked me and made me fuck her hard until I came. She kept making me pump into her draining me and mixing up our orgasmic juices.
Then she had me pleasure her orally. She loves seeing me covered in cum on my lips, nose, and face. She came a few more times as we talked of the game and she went over the stats of the game. It was a wonderful night. She even search on my calorie counter to find a way to report and add in pussy juices and semen calories to my count.

So, This morning Mrs A left early to see her trainer. I was able to sleep in before going to work.
I awoke with a text from Mrs A that said simply I want you caged and in panties today.

So I sent pictures showing me in my panties and cage. I went with the plastic CB6000 today. It has a number lock on it.

Mrs A sent a text saying she is please and that she is happy I am such an obedient sub.

I sent back a text more or less saying I love being hers.

Mrs A: I love knowing that each twitch of your cock in that cage will remind you of me.

Me: I feel so much more settled when I do these things for you. I love being yours.

Mrs A: Good, Today you are going to prove to me how good a sub you are. I have a tryst planned for tonight. I will allow you to ask 5 questions about it.

As you could expect my mind exploded and raced all over the place. She is surprising me with a date she planned by herself without me. I am learning of it now. Then she is allowing my only 5 questions.

1. Where is it going to happen?

At a local hotel.

2. Is this a new person or your current boytoy?

Someone new.

3. Do we know him/her?

Neither of us know him in person. I know him from online.

4. When you say I am going to prove to you today how much I love you and love being your sub what did you mean?

You will be Caged and dressed pretty for me then you will help me get ready for me to go see him.

While I am gone you will stay caged and in panties. 

My cock was getting hard in my cage and dripping when she sent this text. I also felt humiliated it was quite an experiences. 

5. How long have you talked to this person and what does he know of us?

That is 2 questions you only have one more left.

5a. How long have you talked with this person.

We met him online a few years ago in a chat room. I have kept contact off and on over the years. He mentioned he be in town for work today and I agreed to meet him. I am wanting to play with the cuckold dynamics with you and he presented himself at the right time. He is someone we will never see again most likely. I am mostly aroused over you getting me ready while dressed all pretty and caged. I really like the power involved in this.

So here I sit. My mind racing, excited and afraid. Mrs A making such a bold move with me not involved in any way. She is getting more and more comfortable with her dominant side. I will see how comfortable I am with my sub side today.

Time will tell today!

Distracted Mistress.

I am at work and had sent Mrs A a text saying I love her and hope I am making her happy. That I have felt unsettled recently. She responded with the below text dialogue. I have a hockey game tonight. I have been concerned that my team may not turn out in force for the game which makes for a long game


Mrs A: My head has been distracted this week. I haven't been an attentive mistress.

Me: I may just be an over needy sub

Mrs A: That's your job :)

Me: I love you honey. You make me happy inside and out.

Mrs A: I hate it when you feel unsettled. I want you to feel secure and that your cared for and adored.

Me: Thanks I want the same for you.

Mrs A: So today I want you to write down 5 things that can make your hockey team better. You can show them to me and after your game tonight, if you have done the list, I will let you tell me about the game from between my legs.

So tonight I am going to get the privilege of pleasuring Mrs A. As long as I achieve my goals she has set for me. That is a for sure thing. Mrs A knows how much I love feeling her pleasure on my tongue.
I wonder if I will get to use her cock too. She may rather keep it aching for her a little longer. But at least we both will have the pleasure of her orgasms to enjoy.

A small coffee date.

I have had a little crush on a nice lady I see off and on at work. We have texted and bantered back and forth.

Mrs A has many requirements of me, one is that I must attempt to flirt with who I like and also report in detail all interactions. Mrs A has known for sometime my secret little crush I have on a lady I see at work some days. Mrs A really likes to indulge me and tease me about this lady often.

Mrs A instructed me to create situations where Mrs A and this lady would meet and interact. She teases me that if she can she will claim her before me or in front of me.  It is mostly just a fun game for us to use in our own personal play. Another way for Mrs A to exert her power and dominance. She would absolutely take her strap on and make love to this girl in front of me knowing my little crush. Mrs A knows how to tease me so well.

Well, This crush actually allowed me to take her to coffee today. It was a pleasant time that went for a little over an hour. We talked of every day things. I have been upfront about me being married and a submissive to my wife. She has found that intriguing. She and Mrs A have talked some but nothing regular.

I did surprise her with a little gift card to a lingerie store for christmas. As I said we have flirted and texted for sometime. I encouraged her to find something that makes her feel beautiful and desired. It was to push things between us but at the same time create a bond over feminine things. This lady has started to tease me in a dominant way at times.

It has been a fun thing. I am not sure what I even want out of it. I like it as is. If anything I would love to see my crush get curious enough she starts to push back with interest in exploring this with me and maybe Mrs A.

Until then it is a way to pass the time, I guess. A little mental puzzle to keep coming back to when I feel the need.

She is a natural red head. My first real crush growing up was with a little red hair girl down the street. Who knows maybe I am trying to connect with my inner child. HaHa

Thanks all.

First day of school

Mrs A had her first class of the year today. She travels about 50 miles away to the local university where she teaches.
She texted me out of the blue

" That was fun"

My sub mind raced with the possibilities. Did she mean the class? Did she meet her current lover on the side? Was it something else?

I texted back

"Your Class?"

She knew what she was doing to me. I struggled trying to stay on topic at work as I waited for her text.

She called.

I raced to answer the phone. She talked of her day and all the things she enjoyed but never mentioned what she was referring to in her text.
I tried to be polite and follow her conversation. I did a good job I think. She then said she had to go and hung up.

A little while later a text came saying she meant her class.

I smiled inside. She knows how to tease me so well.

She did add " But I did met my car guy also"

I immediately perked up.

"How as he?"

"He was good, We met in a parking lot close to his work but not at his work"

Me: "did you play?"

Mrs A: " we kissed but I am not one for public play" "It was fun to see how wired he was to see me"

Now my cock was getting hard.

Me: "thank you for sharing, It is so arousing to see someone hunger for you in their eyes"

Mrs A: "yes, it is. He seems to want this to go on for a long time"

Me: "All I know is this time it has felt different to me being your submissive. I have enjoyed you having a lover in a very different way than in the past"

Mrs A: "would you want a threesome with him."

Me: "what does he know of us? Are you talking a vanilla threesome"

Mrs A: "yes, he has no knowledge of me being your domme"

Me: " I am happy to be involved if you wish this my love"

Mrs A: "ok, I will see. It is fun to see someone who the doors of sexual exploration has been open for him" "The excitement of the possibilities are palpable of him"

Me: "I remember those days" "Now I am wanting to share the pitfalls too.. haha"

Mrs A: "I want you to know it has been a great day for me but I trade it all to be with you"

Me: "Thank you my love. I know how you feel for me. I am just happy you had a good day too"

Mrs A: " Now I need dinner. " See you tonight my little sub".

So, Mrs A still has on my agenda a threesome with 2 men. She seems to be adding a vanilla one with her and her car guy in the near future. What am I to do but play my part. Well, With a big smile on my face.
Here is a partial pic she had me pose for, for her pleasure.

submissive feelings

I have had a couple interactions with Mrs A recently that makes me wonder how much a dominant understands submissive emotions and needs. There are some Dominants who would say who cares, it is my needs and expectations that must be met. My submissive needs should be fulfilled in fulfilling mine.

I can see how that works a percentage of the time. I see that working in a play scenario setting. I do not see that working in a real married or committed relationship.

Mrs A wants me to give up two memberships we have. They are mainly for me. One is to a country club and the other is season tickets to a local college football team. She feels I do not use them enough to make me happy. She rather I spend money somewhere else. She put me on my knees and had me explain why they make me happy. I did but she felt that was not good enough.

The happiness I get from them are from a submissive view. She cannot see that in this setting or at least does not feel it is worth the trade off. It was hard not to stonewall Mrs A. I know that is being a bad diva and she would have pushed though that if I toyed with it longer but she did not.

We have never been one to use sex as a form of punishment. I have seen sex being used as a form of reward though. It feels like punishment when you do not obtain the reward. It is also punishment when you achieve the reward but are not given it.

I think the inconsistency in our FLR and Femdom plays into our problem.
Mrs A does not feel it is inconsistent she knows she is in charge and is very content.  But as the submissive it is very inconsistent. I think some use a contract to help with these things. Mrs A is adamant that will not happen. She wants me to just take charge of telling her when I feel disconnected, but that does not work either. Kind of goes against the grain sort of speak. If I do then it is a submissive being a diva or topping from the bottom.

Now talking of these things they are very minor and we do talk about them. Direction is slow in coming though. We both understand. It is just interesting to see. Mrs A at least is very keen on what my needs are. She still has mixed emotion on taking 100% control of them. She likes this 70/30 thing. I take 30% responsibility and her 70%.

Like last night. She climb into bed and said if I wanted to please her why was I not caressing her, touching her, kissing her body when I felt that urge. So when I did this she then was who gave you permission, who said you could touch me there, etc etc.. To me I am confused and unsure. To her it is clear.. haha

I just find being a submissive there are many things a dominant can do to open a door to the raw side of your heart. When it is opened and feed with love it is the most exciting rewarding thing for both. But when it is opened and overlooked, ignored, even hurt it is so hard to overcome sometimes.

I would love to hear from anyone on how they handle things.