I just finished working out with my trainer. I spent last night with my head in the lap of Mrs A. She caressed me and we cuddled for a couple hours. Then bed time. She seemed sad and frustrated with some work issues and could not get them out of her mind. I made sure I was there for any needs she may have but no sexual play happened. I hope I was able to give her what she needed in comfort. It is hard when she keeps most things to herself.
She has total control over my orgasms. She sometime keeps me in chastity and sometimes not. She expects me to save myself for her. She, on the other hand, has orgasms when she wants. I still get sad when I see that her vibrator is being charged. It puts out a small light as it charges so I really never notice until bed time and can see the glow of the light. That is when I find out she took care of her needs herself. She sometimes does that while video chatting with someone or sexting with another. Sometimes just alone in her own head. Either way it makes her happy so I am happy. But there is a sting, very little one, but it is there.
We have no ritual or expectation of things when it comes to our play life. When Mrs A wants something she gets it. It happens how she wants, where she wants and with who she wants. We do keep some level of communication if there our things that she wants that could expose our marriage to questions. Like going on a date with another man but other than that it is what it is.
We talked this morning about a possible financial issue in our family and she was very open about how it would be best to handle. I will work towards those points for her.
As a submissive how do you best manage yourself to be more receptive to your dominates needs?
How do you share your thoughts and dreams in a way that does not come across as you "topping from the bottom"?
Hi RB ....
ReplyDeleteVery interesting post and very good questions.
First, I previously had said that I felt like your FLM and mine were similar. Until I read here that it seems that our wife takes other lovers. Mine does not. This is an area that we don't participate in. I'm not saying we will never participate in it. that of course would be up to Mistress K. if she felt that she wanted to take on other lovers.
As far as being receptive to Mistress K.'s needs .... We have a basic understanding that her needs are all on the table and valid, assuming that they do not go beyond our established limits and the rules we have set for our FLM. That being said, she is very understanding about how practicable it may or may not be to accommodate those needs. we take them as they come.
As far as the topping from the bottom issue goes. we've had our issues, like i suspect most D/s or FLM couples have. I don't know if it is the perfect answer, but she has implemented a rule in our marriage that I am always allowed to "ask" for things that I want, or want her to consider, but I must first ask her if it is ok for me to ask her for something that I want. It's not perfect, but it puts a nice little buffer in there and so far has been working quite well. Just because I ask doesn't mean the answer will be yes, or otherwise favorable for me. Mistress K.'s initial reactions to what turned out to be unintentional topping from the bottom was to blister my ass. She didn't know why she was especially not happy with me, and I wasn't being punished for topping from the bottom, but that's exactly what was happening. One we (She) recognized it for what it was, just stopped everything, sat me down and made it extremely clear that it did not matter what I may have wanted. It only mattered what she wanted and if I was a good boy, the things that she wanted might ultimately be the same things I might want.
Made sense to me.
Mrs A and I have lived the last 10 years or so open to other people in our sex life. We have tried a wide variety of things. She is free to have sex with who she wants. If she sees that I would enjoy someone else she allows that also.
ReplyDeleteShe just knows that she is free to explore other people. If she takes a fancy to someone she is free in exploring that. I would expect there are many who she fancies, but very few who get to spend time in her arms.
Mrs A enjoys leading in a very passive way. She controls the situation and in the end controls us all. Her influence is very subtle. She tries to manage in a way that there is very few times she needs to express a direct command. What is interesting to me is she is very comfortable leading as long as we talk less of it. Looking back on our life together she has always been in charge. It is I who as come to a point of acknowledging it. That part has been a little scary to her but also full of excitement too.